I really don’t even know why I'm attempting to write this blog because rationalizing my mindset right now is next to impossible but ill give it a shot…
Lately my life has changed so much that even I lost track as to how it all happened. A few months back I would have never predicted where I would be right now and that's what scares me the most. Life seems like such a linear progression, we all go through the motions of our day to day lives, each day doing things we enjoy to balance out the things we are forced into and often despise. Its a process that we’ve all become accustomed to and its a process that I wanted to break ever since I was a child. A few months ago it seemed like I could take a simple glance around a room and tell you where everyone was headed, life seemed so predictable, so dull…yet through it all I was always “Happy”. Everyday seemed as though I was just trying to get by, passing through life like a blur and not truly enjoying it. I often wondered why I thought this way and why I was so “blissful”.
Things have changed so much since then, and though I remained who I am at my core, my entire mindset has changed and it seems as though meaning was actually brought to my life. Its a weird feeling to describe but its an amazing one. No longer am I looking at the common path that everyone shares through life, or how despite warning we make the same mistakes over and over again. It feels as though I’m drifting away from those questions my mind used to dwell on so often, the questions that sometimes brought me sleepless nights, and moving towards realizing just how amazing life can be. This is a realization that a mere 3 months ago seemed like i would never have. Never would I of thought that such a simple event as meeting a person, would be able to have such an impact on ones life. Even though i still feel that there is no greater meaning to our existence, I can say that without a doubt you can make your own meaning to your own life and in the end that all that really matters, being happy with who you are and who you influence.
Focusing on the here and now, my mind tries to sort though everything that happened to me recently and I come up with the same reoccurring thought... it feels like I might have found what it means to be truly happy and not just the ignorant blissfully stupor I was in months ago. This is a feeling that it quite comforting and reassures me for my future. A future that once seemed so predictable, but now…anything seems possible.
