I’m not sure why I’m blogging at three in the morning but sitting here waiting for the latest episode of Stargate to download has left we with little very little options. I wish in this post I can discuss all the good in my life but lately the good seems so hard to come by. I seem to be riding a daily emotional roller coaster with no real end in sight. I can however say I'm actively working on a solution to this problem; If one even exists. Who knows it could be my mind blowing things out of proportion…but regardless, i feel how i feel and technicalities wont change that. I’m starting to wonder if people that think the way I do even have a real shot at any kind of happiness…I suppose once I reach a point where I am content with my life I wont struggle to drag myself to school or work while I long for purpose. Hopefully that will be sooner than later.
Reflecting upon Stargate, it seems these people..these characters.. even though they are in life threatening situations daily, live such amazing lives. Adventure, excitement, variety, such strong relationships its no wonder why I watch shows like this and play games like mass effect. They represent the life I wish was possible but sadly just is not..life and death decisions have to be made on a daily basis in shows and games like these, I'm pretty sure the most I have to deal with in my life is worrying about delivering a speech for com 101… It simply just does not live up, perhaps in the relationship area it holds a candle but of course that's another roller coaster for me to ride.
All I really know for sure is something needs to change, things need to be reformed and I myself may need to rethink my standpoints on certain things. At the current rate I don't have much reason to continue the day to day activities we all are so accustomed to. For now it seems I just have to continue pushing through the dismal abyss until I’m shown a way out.
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